Pentagon Will Shoot Down Giant Satellite That Will Kill Us All

Washington has a plan to save us from the 5,000-pound satellite that will crash back to Earth in a few weeks and kill most Americans:  The Pentagon is going to fire a missile at the out-of-control bus-sized piece of toxic space junk! If it works, we might survive until one of the other thousands of satellites crash back to Earth and kill us all.

The disabled satellite is expected to hit the Earth the first week of March. Officials said the Navy would likely shoot it down before then, using a special missile modified for the task. Other details about the missile and the targeting were not immediately available.

The first week of March ... is there anything happening then that we should be aware of? OH JESUS MARCH 4 IS THE TEXAS AND OHIO PRIMARY! (And Vermont and Rhode Island, too!)

 U.S. To Shoot Down Errant Satellite [CNN/AP]