Racist Trump Loves Racism, Hates Being Called Racist (Womp Womp, What A Racist!)
This post is about the president's feelings.
Know what Donald Trump hates? Being called a racist. Know what Donald Trump loves? Being racist. What a pickle he is in, if the pickle was wearing a red costume like the grand wizard of the KKK wears!
There are two articles out that are more fun when you put them next to each other. They are about the two subjects we just mentioned.
First up is the Washington Post , which reports that Trump is "vexed" about how to "shed the label" of "racist," which happens to be one of the best labels you can put on the man. (Another good one is "stupidest American in the history of the world." Also "Little Paws.") Apparently he has ALWAYS hated this, even though he has ALWAYS been a big old dumbfuck racist.
"For them to throw out the race word again — racist, racist, racist," Trump told reporters Friday as he departed the White House for a week-long vacation at his private golf club in Bedminster, N.J. "They call anybody a racist when they run out of cards."
Or when they are a racist.
The Post spoke to a Trump adviser who said that Trump gets so mad about being called a racist when he clearly IS NOT THAT, which is also why he hates it when people call him a rapist or a Russian asset. (Many women have accused Trump of sexual abuse and misconduct, all the way up to rape. The FBI literally opened an investigation -- which seems like it may be ongoing -- into whether Trump is a literal actual Russian intelligence asset. And oh yeah, the Mueller Report found collusion. )
Maybe this should be an article about the president's relationship with reality and his deteriorating brain. Maybe it is an article about that, and the headline is just bad.
They got a few people on the record about Trump's (obvious lack of) racism. Kellyanne Conway (lied and) said she's never seen Trump act racist. Anthony Scaramucci said Trump only hates being called racist because it's "bad for business." (Trump and Mooch are fighting right now, it is a whole thing.) And one Trump supporter in Iowa named Laura says it's not fair to call Trump a racist or his supporters racist, because she loves her biracial second cousins.
The Post goes briefly through a few examples of President Racist's long history of racism, back to when he wanted the state to murder the Central Park Five, even after they were exonerated. And then there's the birther thing, and the "go back to your country" thing and the "shithole countries" thing and the housing discrimination that marked the beginning of the career his daddy gave him and the "very fine people on both sides" in Charlottesville (one of the sides was Nazis) and the Mexican rapists are invading and golly, we could go on.
Oh hey, did you hear that at Trump's Hamptons fundraiser this weekend, he made racist Asian accents when he was talking about the leaders of Japan and South Korea? That happened.
Anyways, speaking of Trump's racism, the other article we want to flag for you is this thing in Politico about how Trump's bigoted fixation on restricting immigration to pretty much only the Aryan race fucks up just about everything he does, and will likely fuck him all the way through the 2020 election. On policies that have zero to do with immigration (like gun control) and also on issues where he might have more leverage if he was NOT racist (hard to convince Iranians he really loves them and wants what's best for them against their hardline regime if he still insists on banning them from traveling to the USA), Trump's racism just seems to infect everything he touches.
But he does it anyway! And why? Well, SOME MIGHT SAY it's because the president of the United States is an unhinged loon fucking racist, and by SOME MIGHT SAY, we mean all patriotic Americans, including Wonkette, agree that the man is an unhinged loon fucking racist.
But we shouldn't say so, because it makes him mad. Wouldn't want to make the president mad!
We should be sensitive about the pig racist president's feelings.
Yep.
[ Washington Post / Politico ]
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I just blame everything on my subordinates : ) J/K
The two main workplaces in my life for over half my life were a restaurant kitchen (1%) and a newspaper newsroom (99%). There is nowhere to hide in either place. If you fucked up it was right there and everyone knew it. Blessedly, since both were high speed, high production environments, there was no time to dwell on mistakes -- just take your lumps and keep moving. And some of the mistakes, especially in newspapers, could be spectacular. When I started working at one paper, people still told of the time, years before in the turbulent 60s when the paper ran a P1 banner that was supposed to read, "Police spray student demonstrators with birdshot." The misspelling occurred on the final word. One of the papers in our group ran a classified ad: "Small room for runt." another ad proclaimed "50 percent off selected shits (shirts)." Readers asked if they should bring their shovels to the sale. Another paper ran a full page ad for a VW dealership in the 80s, supposedly touting the 1986 model year Volkswagen Rabbit. Oops. "Come in and see our new 1986 Rabbis," and to make the fuckup perfect, "Free Bagels with every test drive." One of our copy editors once wrote a P-1 teaser for the living section: "Salacious Salads." I myself was responsible for the headline, "Gumnan Robs Bank." Every 24 hours we would strive for perfection, fall short, and publish, though, to be fair, only rarely so egregiously short.